Compassion is NOT A Feeling

There is a powerful story from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People where Steven Covey was speaking to a group.  After the talk, a man came up to Mr. Covey and said “My wife and I are close to a divorce.  We just don’t love each other anymore.  What should I do?”

Covey told the man, “You need to LOVE her.”

The man was confused.  “But you don’t understand,” he said.  “We just don’t FEEL that way anymore.”

Covey explained, “That’s the problem.  Love is not a feeling.  Love is an action.” Covey went onto explain that the husband needed to get back to taking action in consistent with love.  He needed to do things for her.  He needed to serve her.  He needed to LOVE her.  It’s an action.

I was reminded about this at a church service recently when our pastor declared that “Compassion is NOT a feeling.  It’s an action!” I agree.  Way too many times in life, we feel things and hope that is enough.  It almost never is.  It is imperative, in nearly every area of our lives, to take more action. The thing that is holding most people back in their work, dreams, relationships, fitness and more…is action.  Most of us dream about what we want.  We think a lot about what others have that we don’t.  We might even take the extra step and write down the sincere wishes we have in our life.  Heck, we might even meditate or pray in hopes the universe will bring them to us!

What we don’t do is take action.

If we are not seeing enough change, we are not taking enough action.

So if you want your spouse to know that you love them…LOVE them. If you want your team to know you have compassion for them…SHOW them. If you want your community to know you care about it…GIVE something. It’s not about thoughts.  It’s not about dreams.  It’s about action.   Take some.

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Don't Feed Fear with Time

hasseman marketing fear There is a correlation between Fear and Fire. I heard a great analogy about fear from Grant Cardone.  Grant is a hard charging sales trainer and real estate entrepreneur and author.  He has penned several books including the 10X Rule.  Grant compares Fear to Fire.  Fire is powerful and is fueled by oxygen.  The more oxygen a fire gets, the more likely it is to grow.  But if you cut out the oxygen, the fire goes away.  No oxygen = no fire. Fear is powerful as well.  It can drive us or stop us.  The fuel for fear is time.  The more time you give fear, the bigger the fear gets!  So the way to cut out fear is to cut out time. When you have that urge to make that next sales call, or go to that next conference, or go up to that stranger and introduce yourself, your brain will try and talk you out of it.  It wants to keep you comfortable.  So, it gives you fear.  In response to the fear, our natural response is to wait.  We have to wait until we are ready, or until the music is right or the script is better or until the website is complete.  We feed the fear with time…and the fear gets bigger. So the next time you have that urge to do something you know you need to do, don’t wait until you are ready.  Take advice from Nike.  Just do it.  Don’t wait until the time is right…it never will be.  Don’t wait for the script to be perfect, it can’t be.  Just act.  Take away the time…and you will choke out the fear. Now might be a great time to act for you.  Join our VIP list.  We send out an email once a week with all of our content in one place.  You can sign up here.

Will THIS Work? I Have No Idea.

hasseman marketing will it work

It’s hard to believe it’s been over a half a year! For better than 6 months, I have been writing a blog post here each and every day.  It’s Saturday morning, as I write this, and here I am, typing away.  The experience has been enlightening in many ways, and it has forced me to stretch myself.  Ed Mylett talks about being successful starts with “keeping promises to yourself,” and this has been that for me.

But one thing it has truly taught me is what I DON’T know.  I don’t know what it going to work or resonate.  I don’t know what is going to help people.  Here is an example from this week.  On Monday I posted a blog that I wrote a few years ago.  It was 5 Business Lessons you can learn from Garth Brooks.  I was watching a concert with him at Notre Dame Stadium and that seemed appropriate.  It was a blog post that did very well.

Then on Friday I posted 5 Business Lessons you can Learn from Adam Sandler.  (I had seen him on the sideline of an NBA highlight).  I enjoyed writing this and thought it would really take off.  I linked to outside sources.  I referenced movies.  This post was viewed 8 times LESS than the one above.

Was it because Garth is better than Adam?

Is one better written than the other?

Was it the time of day?  Could it be the day?

What was the reason that one of them took off…and the other did not?   The honest answer–after 6 months of doing this every day–is I have no idea. I think this is a strange little mind game that holds people back.  They just don’t know what is going to work.  So they think about it.  Then they think about it some more.  Then they talk about it and plan about it…and do nothing.  This question of whether it is going to work creates a “paralysis by analysis.”

They literally “think” themselves out of taking action.

What I have learned from this exercise of writing every day is we need to do just the opposite.  We need to lean into action, precisely because we don’t know what is going to work!  That consistency of taking action is what will create the outcome we are looking for.  It’s not the one action.  It’s the many.

*In sales, we don’t make the sales call because it’s not the right time of day, week, year, etc.  But you don’t know.  So you might as well make the call.

*In fitness, we don’t start working out because we are going to wait for the next new workout plan.  Just get on the treadmill.

You get the idea.   Will it work?  Will it fail?  Will this be the magic video that goes viral?  The answer, if we are honest, is we don’t know.   Will this be the blog that has an impact and creates a mindset of change for you?  I don’t know.  So I will hit publish to find out.

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Action + Patience = Power

 We live in an instant gratification culture.  When we are starting (anything) we want things to happen fast.  We want success.  We want attention.  We want sales.  We want all of those things…and we want them quickly.   The problem is, despite the stories of “overnight successes,” that is not really how the world works.  Maybe there have been people who have been “lucky” and have been “discovered” that have not put in the work…but I don’t know them.  And my guess is, neither do you.   Most overnight successes have been 10 years in the making.   That might seem frustrating in the short term.  Because while we are in the weeds, trying to get a project or career or company off the ground, it seems like things are taking forever.  But my hope is that it is encouraging news.   You are not stupid. You are not doing it wrong. You are not slow. This is just how it works…for everyone. That is why Gary Vaynerchuk talks a lot about Patience.  Building a company, a brand or an audience that matters takes time.  It takes time in the trenches.  It takes repetitions.  In the short run, we get frustrated because “it’s not happening fast enough.”  But take solace in knowing that success in nearly anything is more like farming than hunting.  We have to plant the seeds, water them and let them grow.  Then we get to harvest. The other side of that, though, is action.  When you hear patience, it doesn’t mean you just wait for the world to serve up success to you.  You have to make the calls, write the posts, attend the meetings.  You have to do the work.  And you have to do it consistently.  It’s not a one time flurry of activity.  It’s every day. But when you put the two together, you can really build something.  Action + Patience = Power.   Now go put in the work.  If you want to make sure you never miss an update, make sure to sign up for our VIP newsletter here.  

Weekly Word – Action

Each week Kirby will dig into a word that will help in personal development, sales, and growth.  The weekly word is designed to be short and sweet, and provide a quick lesson that will help you grow each week.The Hasseman Marketing weekly word this week is ACTION.  In this video Kirby explains that the difference between the people who make a difference, the people who have some level of success or create the life that they want to lead is that these people take ACTION.   So many people spend all of their time thinking and dreaming.  Kirby states that he’s all about setting goals for yourself, but at the end of the day nothing happens until you take ACTION. As you watch and listen you will learn that Kirby recommends a really good tool for taking ACTION.  He endorses the book The Five Second Rule written by Mel Robbins.  If you choose to read this book you will grasp that whenever a person sets a goal in their life there is often a moment in time where you know you need to do something, but for whatever reason you become hesitant.  Mel’s tool in The Five Second Rule is to say 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 then DO IT!  Kirby emphasizes to not overthink it because sometimes your mind gets in the way. Kirby reminds us if you want more success in life you have to take more ACTION. Want to keep up all the time?  Make sure to join our VIP List!  Our VIP’s get an email with the latest content…and other special offers as well.  Join here.